I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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