currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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