I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wanna go halves on a baby?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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