Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
