"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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