remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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