please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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