People with herpes should wear stickers.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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