WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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