Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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