dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
