:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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