I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
