If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
