The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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