He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Come see our sink grown plant.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize