Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
