FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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