I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
