A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
