The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
