D3 body, D1 cock
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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