my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
