Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
