absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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