Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize