i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
nutella sex= disaster
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle