I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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