I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
