Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
