First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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