Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
