fuck your aforementioned shoe
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
