If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize