You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize