You just made me feel so damn special
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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