That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
