My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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