She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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