so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
