his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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