So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
