Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
