im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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