That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
