Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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