I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
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I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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