so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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