Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
