just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
