FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
