just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
