What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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