Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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