i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
