Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
