i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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