"it" just moved
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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