meet me or not, i'm out of control
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
