ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
